There are some aspects you should be careful. If it is necessary, study again the structure of the verb to be . Do not forget to answer everything that is asked and mention all the points that are required.You are getting better at writing; unfortunately, it is not perfect yet. There are some points you forgot; checking the grammar structures can help you make fewer mistakes the next time. Your writing is really good! There is always something that can be corrected, but you have learned to use the verb to be correctly. Excellent!